I think for many women when you get married and have kids it just becomes life. & for those looking from the outside in, it looks to just come natural. But it doesn’t. I’m a mother, a teacher, a coach, a best friend, a daughter, and a wife. I save that for last because many nights when I lay beside my husband I realize that I failed to really be a wife that day.

Let me clarify a few things. I love my husband more than I could begin to explain. He is everything I could ever want and more. In fact, I always told myself that one day I will find a man that I won’t want to change a thing about and when I do that will be the man I want to marry. And that is my husband, perfectly defined. I would not change on thing about him. He is attractive, brilliant, well mannered, kind, compassionate,  and everything else that you would want in a man. He is the person I want my son to aspire to be like.

With all of these wonderful things that he posses, I want him to also have a wife that is all of the above. When he and I first met we were like a raging fire in the sense that we were carefree and went where the wind blew. & then we had our son, whom we both love more than anything. Shortly after our son was born we got engaged and a year later married. (boo-hoo we did it a bit backwards)

Before we got married we “felt” married. We lived together, had jobs, maintained our finances together, and cared for our son. So I was a wife to him, and he a husband to me.

I remember vividly one night when we were co-sleeping (shame on us!) that Tank was ready to go into his bassinet by the bed. I then placed him in it and had to make a decision. Do I stay closer to the side that my son is sleeping on or do I roll over towards my husband who I had not made contact with all day. In that moment, I chose to be a mom.

Does that make me a bad wife?

Many days once we have all settled after dinner I watch the clock to put my son to bed. I do this because I want time to myself. To take a long shower, to sit on my phone, to watch some tv. Just like any normal person. & I know my husband thinks the same way. But  what I don’t do, enough, is watch the clock and wait for bedtime so that I can spend quality/necessary time with my husband.

He works 5 days a week & I work 3 days a week and have Tank with me the other 2. We’re both busy with out individual day-in and day-out duties. But I need to make it a point to really come together as husband and wife and enjoy OUR time.

We are a young couple and believe me when I say this, our love isn’t dying. Not in any case. We do a lot of fun things and joke around and laugh… but many times this involves our son. ( Who, again, we love very much!) I need to be sure I am being a wife too and that I am treating him as my husband not just my sons father.