Ever just feel like there’s something wrong with you? As if you are going to be in the nut house any day now. Like one more little thing is going to make you go crazy.

Oh me too, so let’s be friends.

I discovered that I was bi-polar about 4 months after my son was born. Well, I didn’t discover it obviously, I was diagnosed. Went in to the doctors because my mood was just at a plateau. I loved my husband and son with all my heart but felt like I should be “more happy” & that’s when they said I was bi-polar.

He did ask me some other questions such as “do you shop, do you do things for yourself, do you get sad” & just like that I was told I was bi-polar. Now before you start jumping to conclusions I don’t lash out and go crazy for no reason & I don’t get suicidal. I just stop having feelings. Not happy. Not sad. Not mad. Nothing.

Youre probably thinking it doesn’t sound too bad, but imagine not being excited to see your husband. It’s just a “hey babe, I love you.” & that’s that. & now that the holidays are here all I want to be is excited.

Currently I’m going through a battle with it. Which just means that it’s active. So my feelings are “bleh”

It goes away on its own and comes back when it pleases. Sometimes there are triggers, but not always. I’m patiently waiting for it to subside so I can go back to normal. I don’t take medicine because the side effects freak me out & would cause more harm than good. & im not a high level case.

The worst part is.. I knew exactly what caused me to become bipolar and that’s what sucks the most.

ive discovered the reasons behind the ways I act and now you’ve discovered it as well.

The Discovered Truth.

Does that make me a bad mom?